Yestere’en I ambled out
to Man Loon’s Penny Store,
to buy some desquizillas
and a tithe of elphinore.
Man Loon and his fustilugs
were sat behind the bar,
watching some tv show
and sipping from a jar.
They never speak to customers
(unless you speak Chinese),
so I nodded and befumbled
in behind the herbal teas.
Suddenly old Man Loon
was beside me like a cat,
and his fustilugs was threatening me
with a baseball bat.
He said ‘Get out, you thieving bastard,
and don’t come here again!’,
but he said it all in Chinese,
so I just smiled at them.
Then the fustilugs besmote me
with her baseball bat,
which is so much more effective
than all that verbal chat.
Lone Words 