Month: October 2015

Wild thoughts

My 100th post. Yay!
My 100th post. Oh joy, oh rapture!

The trees are in their autumn beauty,

The nights are getting cool.

I wish I hadn’t sold my coat

For that bandy-legged mule.

I’ve  rode upon that mangy creature,

And now my ass is sore.

Under the October twilight,

I’m frozen to the core.


Fancy

— Just talk to me, Lou. Tell me honestly: is there….. another?

— I’m real busy here, Frankie. I gotta…..

— Will ya just vouchsafe to listen? My poor heart is cleft in twain, Lou!

— What’s with all the fancy talk, Frankie?

— It ain’t fancy, Lou, it’s just…. ya know….. heartfelt.

— Oh Jeez!

— Be honest with me: are you forsworn?

— Am I what? Cut out the fancy lingo or you can kiss my ass!

— Can I? Really?


Annual staff review

I am everything to you —

Your anchor in life’s ocean

Your revitalising lotion

Your energising potion

Your centre of emotion

Your object of devotion

Your means of locomotion

Your path to promotion.

Don’t be cross —

Without me,

You are dross,

A dead loss.

I’m da boss,

my albatross.

So why the commotion?


Messalina

She sidled up to him like a dredger slipping its mooring.

Her perfume was Fantasia, by Theo Melanoma, and her makeup, paint on an old fairground puppet. Tight leather miniskirt, chest like a barrage balloon, and a face like poison.

— Buy me a drink, handsome?

In the dimly-lit bar, Cosmo saw no trace of the agony in her eyes.


Waiting for Apollo

—Come in, Apollo!

—Tweeeeeek…. crackle…. hisss…. spluttt

— Are you receiving? Over.

— Tweeeeeek…. crackle…. hisss…. spluttt

— NASA calling Apollo. Come in, Apollo. Over.

—…..hisssss….so just sit back and…. spluttt…. smooth vibes from the Juice Wellington Trio…. splutttt…. coming to you live…. hissss-splutttt…lo Theatre in beautiful downtown…. crackle-hisssss-splutttt….

— Marconi! Get your sorry ass in here!