Catweazle’s wonder diet

If adipose tissue is an issue,
why not try my special diet?
It pivots on eggs, and cormorants’ legs
— don’t knock it till you try it.

I was forty stone last Christmas,
immobile as Gibraltar.
I hadn’t seen my feet for years,
I wallowed on Fat’s altar.

Now I’m five stone seven
and as thin as duck egg soup.
I can tie my own shoelaces,
I don’t even have to stoop.

So come and join me, Fatty,
all your fat will fall away.
You can go from adiposey
to jocosey in one day.


 

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