The light

Behold the ardent lantern
shining brightly in the night:
That’s where I’m headed
— to that glorious holy light.

I walk the road with Jesus,
he is my guide and scout.
Wanna bet before I get there,
the bloody light goes out?



The gift

My later kills were darker
than my early ones.
That’s something I discovered
when I watched the old re-runs.

Something in me growing darker
— was it years of acid rage,
or just the bitter boredom
of unsettled middle age?

So it’s good to have the footage,
all in order and on file.
You can see how I developed
my own beguiling style.

They say an unexamined life
is not worth living.
I’ve examined over twenty
— it’s the gift that goes on giving.


Bible belt

Twemlow, have you lost your mind,
all sense of rhyme & reason?
No one but the Antichrist
wears yellow in mid-season.

Don’t go outside wearing yellow,
please tell me that you won’t.
You know what folks round here are like:
‘God loves you, but I don’t.’

So put away the yellow,
make an effort to conform.
They’ll hang the baby Jesus,
if he ever is re-born.


Three fat ladies

Three fat ladies came to see me,
to convert me to the Lord.
If I looked like any one of them,
I too would be distraught.

Sr Agnes is the fattest,
she has dimples in her cheeks.
The other two would need a sauce
— serve with ham and leeks.

I said I’d sign up for a month,
then take it as it comes.
If he hasn’t done the trick by then,
I’ll have me three fat nuns.