Nothing personal

Was your mother on the aircraft
that I hijacked in Algiers?
Did your old dad also lose his head
to my gardening shears?

Were your babies in the back seat
when I stole the Maserati?
Was your hamster devastated
when I joined the Nazi party?

Seemingly no, and yet you show
me so much disrespect.
Members of the jury,
I really must object.

Don’t take it all so personally,
take the long-term view.
Crime is all around us,
thank the Lord it wasn’t you.

I’m your personal Saviour,
come to shield you from all harm.
You won’t have my protection
if I’m in the funny farm.



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