Mr Helpline

Some vile egregious hellhound
has taken my umbrella
— worse than sticking your fat finger
in another man’s Nutella.

I feel bemired and besmirched,
my private life invaded,
but I’ll qualify for counselling
under Help for the Aged. 

So thank you, Mr Helpline,
you’ve been my only friend,
in a time of mental anguish
that I thought would never end. 


 

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