Flat out

The earth is flat, I tell you,
just use your common sense.
How else could we stay upright
with aplomb and confidence?

All the water would run off,
if the earth was round,
and people in Australia
would be living upside down.

The chimney would be through the floor
the floor above their heads,
the mattress pressing on them
when they’re lying in their beds.

What kind of life would that be
for Sheila or for Bruce?
The earth is flat, I tell you
— now, please, cut me loose.


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