Fashion tips

I adore your taste in bow-ties
— always a good sign!
Your waistcoats, on the other hand,
well, take a look at mine.

When you wear a waistcoat,
it’s your ensign fore and aft:
it must denote the nincompoop
and let folks know you’re daft.

My tangerine and crimson
(a present from the Duke)
has always struck the right note
among the landed foolk.

Take my orange bombazine —
now that’s a screaming hit!
Elton said he ‘digs it’
and ‘does it come back-lit?’

When I stay in London,
I dine at the Savoy,
and then the choice is simple:
my sequined Fauntleroy.

So get yourself some waistcoats
but don’t let them be mute.
They must bellow from the bell-tower
‘I’m as crazy as a coot.’



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