Genteel birth

The infant peeped out from the womb
saying ‘Dash it all, Mater,
I expected something more genteel
from the Great Creator.’

‘What’s with all this moaning
and what’s that hairy thing?
If this is what it’s all about,
I’m going straight back in.’

Then the midwife grabbed him
and held him by the feet,
saying ’Too late, you little bastard,
life’s a one-way street.’

‘Just keep going forward,
there’s no going back,
and if you keep complaining
you’ll get another smack.’

And so another life begins
the wrong side of genteel.
There is no Great Creator,
just your Pater — keep it real.


 

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