To a barman

Oh leave your door ajar for me,
I so adore your jars!
Oh won’t you pour a jar for me
in this, your jarry bar?

You’re barred!

But we’re so alike, you and me:
we both like me and I like both,
so won’t you bide a while with me?
I can’t abide your jarring note.

You’re BARRED!

Why come across so cross tonight,
and why be so aloof?
Why not cross the bar-room floor
and pour me a vermouth?


— I won’t leave my door ajar for you,
you’re barred from this day out!
It jars with me to look upon
your jargonizing snout.

How say you ‘jargonizing’,
my barry jarry man?
I’ve seen you bargainizing
with drug dealers and their clan.

— We have a quite extensive range
of beers and fine elixirs:
please take your time to choose one,
and I won’t charge for the mixer.

You’re such a jarry barry man,
as jarry as the rest.
And now it’s time to name the game:
a writ for your arrest.