A dialogue between me and Him

There’s a sense in which
life is a bitch,
as I can now perceive:
it starts to come in focus,
and then you have to leave.

Him: Have you worked it out yet?
Me: Well, as a matter of fact….
Him: Right, out! Next!



Let’s see if Lexi Lennox
can decipher ancient runes.
He’s as subtle as a salmon
in a sack of silver spoons.

— I’m sure it’s ancient Hebrew
(akin to classic Welsh)
yes, I’m sure it’s ancient Hebrew
— either that or something else.

— What’s it say, young Lexi?
What’s the general gist?
I’m as eager as a deacon
at the Easter eucharist.

— It’s about a beldam
and a lusty country squire
fornicating in a churchyard
and cavorting in the choir.

— That’s enough, young Lexi,
we’ll have no more of that!
Go back to Harry Potter
and the Magic Cricket Bat.

Bible belt

Twemlow, have you lost your mind,
all sense of rhyme & reason?
No one but the Antichrist
wears yellow in mid-season.

Don’t go outside wearing yellow,
please tell me that you won’t.
You know what folks round here are like:
‘God loves you, but I don’t.’

So put away the yellow,
make an effort to conform.
They’ll hang the baby Jesus,
if he ever is re-born.