Sept 14, 2015. Peacefully at home, Aristarchus Murphy, dearly beloved husband of Clytemnestra. Sadly missed by his loving daughter Cleopatra and sons Aristotle, Demosthenes, and Kevin.


Field notes

The sports reporter for the Wallingford Bugle, Ted Scribe, has made his notes. He can write them up later over a few pints in the Harlot’s Hole:

rain, tasty clash in prospect, edgy start Utd

9 min: bullet, classic nutmeg, Walsh, City 1-0

goalie – crap shambolic, pafetic


Edwards: colossus in midfield

Thorpe: worries defence like wasp at picnic

Walsh: powerhouse on left, great reader of game

34 min: Thorpe, top left, dipping shot, 2-0

40 min: open goal Turner, miles over, bulls arse/cricket bat


Utd never left starting gate


dig deep, feed flanks

Utd must raise game

T. cud bag brace

51 min: Carter, neat flick, edge of box, 3-0

72 min: Brady foul on Thorpe, bastard cynical, sad reflection mod. game

76 min: Chalmers volley, 15yds, icing on cake, 4-0



4 horsemen/acropolis

historic…. hare & tortoise….. came of age…


There was a young four-letter word,

Who yearned in his heart to be heard:

‘I don’t start with B,

And I don’t start with C’.

But most people still demurred.


L. & R.

L. & R. Rigby look at the lice that they found where their bedding had been.

What does it mean?

They gape at the lino, swearing to God that they’ll give nothing more to the poor.

All the creepy crawlies —

Where do they all come from?